I am not going to pretend that things are all okay-this situation is really taking a toll on me, as I am sure it has on many of you, my friends. It has now been a whole week since I went into complete quarantine and it has been hard to have headlines constantly streaming in, social media exploding as people try to find ways to connect (myself included), and a stay-cation that was not what I had in mind.
All of that being said, I am constantly amazed by, and reminded of, the innate goodness of other people. Even as overwhelming headlines loom about the pandemic, stories and videos of people actively choosing to help others are flooding my inbox. Neighbors sharing resources with each other, displaced workers offering low-fare child care, outdoor fitness classes being led from the roofs of quarantined apartment complexes (still maintaining social distancing). It is amazing how we can care for each other as a species.
Here at home, we are settling into a regular routine, which both Alex and I feel is crucial to our mental health. He often jokes that I am working from central command right now:
We are just trying to control the things we can at the moment, and remind ourselves that we powerful people. Right now, if that means that we can start dinner at 6 PM...that is awesome. As a person who is very affected by anxiety, I feel fortunate to have built up a lot of tools in my arsenal. Online therapy, yoga, meditation, breathwork, positive affirmations...one of the things I am most grateful for is my dog, Rory. He is very in tune with my emotions. Last night, I got overwhelmed hearing about news from other countries and had just verbally expressed to Alex, "I am starting to have a panic attack-" when Rory, seemingly out of a dead sleep, leapt onto the couch and immediately buried his face in the crook of my arm.
Falling asleep...
Jumping up twenty minutes later...
Although I was still anxious, this kind of powerful bond keeps me grounded in the here and now; not what could of been, not what might be. What is, right now. I love having a 75- pound lap dog.
This whole situation seems to have thrown life as we know it, "off kilter." Last night making a weekly family calendar for the two of us had a huge positive impact. We are scheduling time every day for regular meals, exercise, and "intentional relaxation." Since we have not even been married a year, this is proving to be a choice point for us-do we stay scared and guard against our feelings, or dive deeper into what it means to be married to your best friend? Learning to love and trust in good times...and the not-so-good times? Although it is not always easy as we are co-quarantined in our new house and Alex is working remotely from home as a teacher (his first year teaching!), we are making a conscious choice to be in this together and let that intention ripple out to our family, friends, and global community.
He is embracing teaching his students from home, utilizing several different platforms and mediums to keep students engaged and interested in the material. A highlight from today was our pup crashing his class. Although Alex embraced it and introduced Rory to his class, he followed up the introduction by asking, "Rory, do you want to help me teach today?" To which, Rory actually ran out of the room.
My husband's colleagues are all supporting one another and are really providing a framework for the entire academic community. It has been a beautiful thing to watch as a member of the community. Even though he is not going into work, one of the modalities he is using involves a video chat with his students. I am usually sleeping about an hour later than him to help ease some of the symptoms of my fibromyalgia. When remote classes started a few days ago, I found that just as he was doing during the "regular school year," he decided to leave his work clothes outside our bedroom door so that he can tiptoe out of the room without waking me and get dressed when he turns a light on in the bathroom.
That's love. And love wins, guys. Every time. Also yes, we are huge Ohio State fans. :)
Today is one of our lighter work days, so I am using the time to get a jump on several things on the endless to-do list as well as take some time to unplug and rest. Remember to take time for yourself to step away from everything online when you need it and to utilize your support system because chances are...they need you and much as you need them.
Happy hump day to all those working remotely, and most especially to the healthcare workers who are the real heroes continuing to show up on the frontlines every day right now.
Prepare, don't panic.
-Allison
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