Today is June 1st...wow is it hard to believe. I think this is the first new month that hasn't actually felt like we are still in March, at least for me. We went to two outpatient appointments for me today (following my discharge from the hospital yesterday) and did a ton of work around our house to get everything in sorted enough that we can rest. Maybe that sounds a little counter-productive, but sometimes cleaning is so helpful for not just organizing physical space--but also mental space.
Repetitive motions to just let the brain uninflame.
Cool down.
And breathe deep.
One minute we were enjoying the sunshine and the breeze rushing through the windows of our car as we drove home from the doctor...
...the next I received a jury summons to begin two weeks from now when we got the mail from our quarantine area on our porch. Because of course the day I come home from the hospital during a pandemic and our country is having social and economic crises is the perfect time, right? I mean, things were starting to feel just a little too calm around here.
I am still framing my thoughts on how and what to share about my experiences this past week living as a patient on a COVID ward. There are so many things that I am reliving and revisiting. For now, rest assured that I am just taking time to heal, be home, and be happy.
That said, there is a lot happening in the world right now and I would not feel right completing my thoughts of the day without bringing up the desperation and chaos that is gripping our country in the wake of yet another black person being killed. I did not see the news about the continued struggle and plight of living as a POC in America until last night being in an ISO ward with teams of healthcare workers coming in and out in full PPE. I did not know what the word "race" has meant for this past week in my country. Honestly, I am still catching up on that, but I am trying my best to speed read without missing the important details. Now is the time (actually, ALWAYS is the time, but that hasn't been the case yet) to stand with our fellow humans and make sure that voices are heard, people are seen, and the social scaffolding changes. Like I said, I am still catching up, but for anyone who is missing my main point here: black lives matter.
Black Lives Matter.
I am here to be an ally, an advocate, and an instrument of change for the future because that is how I see this going forward. I need a more education in this area to be as helpful as I can be; at the same time, I am not going to make others teach me. I am seeking it out, getting informed on what I can do, and doing it. Please know that even though I am not able to walk with you yet, I am standing for you and will find the ways to be a light in this dark space. I will give you my best. If you need a person, I am here. Together I do believe we can move mountains.
Prepare, don't panic.
-Allison
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